Super Smash Smackdown
by Theodore Barrington
Summary: This is basically an idea I had; having the SS Bros Crew duke it out in a wrestling arena. Fox and Wolf provide commentary. Feel free to review!
1. Wario vs Dedede

Fox: Welcome back ladies and gentleman to SUPER SMASH SUPER SMACKDOWN! For those of you out their in TV land who came in late, I'm Fox McCloud…

Wolf: And I'm Wolf O'Donnell!

Fox: It's definitely been a fantastic night so far, in what is a spectacular grand finale to the season.

The piece de resistance if you like.

Wolf: Indeed it has Fox. Tonight we've already seen Lucario hospitalize Link.

He was disqualified for using illegal psychic attacks, taking them both out of the final preliminary heats tonight. Meanwhile the Super Mario Brothers have trounced Nana and Popo, the Ice Climbers in the tag-team challenge only minutes ago.

Fox: We have three more preliminary events, the winners of which will go onto the quarter finals.

The two winners will then face off to determine who will take on the King of the Ring.

Wolf: That's right. We'd like to remind the viewers at home that the competitors tonight and under no circumstances should you attempt to try these moves at home

Viewer: Awww shucks!

Fox: Thankyou for that Wolf. Way to be a buzz-kill.

Wolf: Hey Fox, how come you ain't down there?

Fox: Gee Wolf…does the leg in the cast give you any clues? I can't walk on this leg let alone fight.

Wolf: I guess they couldn't let you do that eh Fox?

Fox: Ha-ha shut up man!

Wolf: Moving right along now, up next we have King Dedede versus the Mario Brother's nasty cousin; Wario.

Fox: Yes, Dedede has been doing very well this season, bashing his way through the ranks, proving that even without his oversized mallet, he can still rumble with the best of them.

Wolf: Even so, can he stand up to the cunning craftiness that is Wario? I sure hope so.

Fox: Let's go down to the R.O.B roving cameras down at the side line.

[Camera angle changes to the wrestling ring]

Crazy Hand: Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies and gennleman, and whatever else is out there.

In the red corner, standing at 5'9'' and weighing in at 300 pounds….KING DEDEDE!

[Audience Cheers]

Crazy Hand: Aaaaaaaaand in the other red corner, standing at 4'12'' and weighing 250 pounds….

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrioooooooooooo!

[Slightly less cheering]

Wolf: Now the opponents are sizing each other up

Fox: Meanwhile, it's over to the referee, Master Hand. Hand holds up three fingers….two…one…

The fight is on!

Wolf: ....yes….and it appears that neither contestant is aware. They're just circling each other.

Fox: It may be some attempt to be intimidating….I'm not sure.

Wolf: Wait….now Wario is working the crowd.

Wario: Can I get a Boo-Yah?

[Silence]

Dedede: No, but you can have…..THE BIG GAY DANCE!

Wolf: What on earth is Dedede doing?

Fox: I believe he said it was the big gay dance wolf. I suppose it's some kind of new taunt.

But Wario doesn't seem to notice. Now Dedede seems to be accompanying it with some rather crass gestures.

Wolf: He seems to be doing everything to get Wario riled up. Could that be his strategy?

Fox: It sure looks like it Wolf. But it's not working….wait…now Dedede is going over to Wario and is saying something to him….can't quite make it out….

Wolf: Well whatever it is, he's really got Wario annoyed now! He's charging at full speed!

He's going to hit his opponent with all he's got!

Fox: No…look….it seems King Dedede was anticipating this, neatly sidestepping the attack!

Wario can't stop in time and shoots right past him. That's using your smarts!

Wolf: But Wario isn't done…he's hit the side ropes, stretching them back…he's using them to catapult himself right back at the unsuspecting Dedede!

Fox: He's going to hit….no! At the last moment, Dedede has stretched out a flipper, clothes-lining

Wario! Ouch! Now he's dragging Wario around the ring by the legs!

Wolf: Wario has managed to grab onto one of the posts, the sudden stop knocks Dedede off balance!

Fox: But once again Dedede is too smart and makes sure that he lands on top of his opponent!

Crunch!

Wolf: Ooh….Wario just manages to push three hundred pounds of raging penguin off of him!

He's up again!

Fox: Dedede is slamming him with both flippers, a withering barrage of blows.

Wolf: Wario finally manages to get a good punch in….maybe he can regain some ground.

Wait…..what is Dedede doing?

Fox: He's opening his beak…..wider…wider….UNBELIVEABLE. It looks like King

Dedede shares the same abilities as Kirby! He's trying to inhale Wario!

Wolf: EGADS! That can't possibly be a legitimate move!

Fox: Well Master Hand hasn't stopped the match, so I guess it's okay.

Wolf: Wario is trying to run away from the powerful vacuum. But that gosh darn cape on his

_Wario Man _costume is dragging him back!

Fox: Wow! Dedede has his opponent _inside his mouth!_ He's shaking him up for good measure!

Well….we all know what comes next! Expectoration at high velocity!

Wolf: Hold up a sec….what's wrong with Dedede? His face is going green….he's gagging....

Ugh! He's regurgitated Wario! But what could have possibly made him do that.

Fox: Well….those green vapour clouds coming from his mouth may have something to do with it!

It looks like Wario let one rip, while he was inside the mouth of Dedede!

Wolf: Gross! It looks like Dedede is going to lose his breakfast….

Fox: ….and his lunch…and his dinner…..

Dedede: ….urgg….bleeeaaarrrrg!

Wolf: ….and he may not be the only one….yucky, yucky, yucky!

Fox: Hey, just be glad we can't smell up here in the commentator's box!

Wolf: Wario looks pretty pleased with himself….despite the fact that he was nearly digested.

Wario: Eh…Heh…Heh… Heh! Looks like big penguin is actually big chicken!

Fox: Look….Dedede has managed to waddle over and put him in a bear hug!

Wolf: Wario isn't done yet….OH MY GOODNESS….did you see that?

Fox: I certainly did….Wario pulled a Mike Tyson and bitten down hard on KD's face!

Wolf: Ooh…look at the blood…I think Wario just spat out a chunk of flesh! Is that even allowed?

Fox: No interruption from the ref! Dedede drops Wario….wow…I bet that stings!

Wolf: He follows up with a knee to the groin!

Fox: Ooh…I can't watch! I don't care what species you are – if you are a male- that _has_ to hurt!

Wolf: ….and Dedede is down! I think he's in too much pain and shock to get back up!

Wario pins him down as Master Hand counts….one…..two….three!

Fox: Wario wins!

Wolf: Yes fox; through the use of underhand tactics and ruthless cunning, he has bested Dedede!

Fox: There can only be one king of the ring tonight and it's not going to be King Dedede!

He's already being carried away by some of his waddle-dees. I think he'll need more than a

1up to recover from that! How humiliating!

Wolf: This means that Wario will advance to the next round. Speaking of which, why are these fights all only one round?

Fox: I guess to add multiple rounds will make this fanfic too long. Barrington wills it I guess.

Anyways….don't go anywhere ladies and gentlemen- we'll be right back after this.

Wolf: Hey…you owe me ten bucks!

Fox: Quiet you!


	2. Slippy the Toad vs Captain Falcon

Fox: Aaaaaaand we are back ladies and gents.

Wolf: Yep, and it seems like we have next to no viewers tonight. Seriously….where are all the people at?

Fox: Who knows. I hear World Idol's on at the moment. That might explain it.

Wolf: Ah…that it would. Maybe we could get more ratings if we could get somebody up to sing?

Fox: Are you volunteering?

Wolf: ….no…

Fox: Moving on then. Who's in the next match?

Wolf: We have Donkey Kong vs. Sonic the Hedgehog.

Fox: I see, this ought to be good. Newcomer Sonic has provided some seriously stiff competition throughout this series.

Wolf: True. And while most have travelled interplanetary, Sonic has come from a totally different universe, all the way from _Sega _to _Nintendo_, wowing the crowds with his lightning fast reflexes and super quick moves.

Fox: It looks like we're pitching Speed against Strength, with Kong being one of the strongest competitors. As I said, this should be good.

Wolf: Let's go down to the ring.

Crazy Hand: On my right, standing at 4'11'' , weighing in at 55 pounds, it's the lean, mean, speed-machine, Sonic the Hedgehog.

[Crowd cheer]

Sonic: Sonics' the name, speed's my game.

Crazy Hand: Aaaaaaaaaaaand on my left, standing at 6'2 weighing in at 800 pounds, It's the King of the Jungle Swingers himself...Donkey Kong!

[More cheering from the crowd as Kong thumps his chest]

Fox: I can hardly wait for this match, this is gonna be SO FRIGGIN COOL!

Wolf: Well we'll have to see about that...And the Ref signals the start of the match!

Fox: And Donkey Kong moves in with a heavy roundhouse pun-...WHAT THE HECK?

Wolf: Wha...what just happened?

Fox: Ladies and Gentleman...uh, we are not exactly sure what is going on but Sonic is currently standing on the head of a very dazed Donkey Kong, in fact the Ref has declared Kong out for the count? What happened?

Wolf: I guess Sonic was just too fast. We'd better go to a slo-mo replay.

[Crosses over to the large screen where match is shown, slowed down by 75%. Sonic is seen dashing around his adversary, performing a spin attack to his calves before leg-sweeping him. The Hedgehog jumps up and down on Kongs chest repeatedly, grabs a newspaper from an audience member, before sitting down to read it while eating several chilli dogs before moving over to stand on DK's head, ending the match]

Fox: ...Well that was… bitterly disappointing

Wolf:...Yeah. Now what? Do we cut to an ad break

Fox: We just got back from one. Let's just go to the next round.

[Cross to the ring]

Crazy: Alllllllrighty then. In the Plaid corner; he's rough, tough and good looking enough, Ladies and gennleman, All the way from Mute City, Captaaaaaaaaaain Falcooooooooooon!

[BIG cheer]

Falcon: (weakly) C'mon...

Crazy: And in the Tartan Corner, uh...am I reading this right? Slippy the Toad?

[An old female amphibian in the crowd claps]

Slippy: WHOOHOO! YEAH LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY! I'M BACK! WHEEE!

Wolf: What the hell? Fox, what's the meaning of this? Slippy was the first one to get eliminated Why is that toad down there?

Fox: You see this cast on my leg?

Wolf: Yeah...what about it?

Fox: Weeeeeeelll...I was cleaning my Landmaster...

Wolf: ..As usual..

Fox:...when that skinny little idiot down there- who was buffing the leather seats when he somehow managed to roll it over my damn leg! So I pulled a few strings to let him compete instead of me. If he loses, that's no skin off my nose because he doesn't _represent _me but if by some cruel twist of fate he _does_ win, _I'll_ get the winnings.

Wolf: You do know the mic's on right? And that everybody out there can hear you?

Fox: Oh...er...can we edit that out later?

Wolf: This is a live broadcast.

Fox: Ah. Hey...the match has already started!

Wolf: Yes it has. By the way, is it just me or does Captain Falcon look kinda out of it?

Fox: I'll say. He's wobbling more than Mario's belly after all-you-can-eat Friday's at Kid Koopa's Pizzeria; now offering half price for family meals on Saturday…

Wolf: Product plugging much?

Fox: Shaddup!

Wolf: Getting back to the match now and it seems that Slippy is _literally _running circles around the Captain, who can only throw a feeble punch or two in retaliation.

Fox: Slippy rains down slap upon slap onto the Captain.

Wolf: Not really doing much is it though? Kinda seems to be at a stalemate.

Fox: I don't think this is going anywhere soon.

Wolf:…

Fox:…

Wolf:…

Fox:…..

Wolf:….

Slippy: WOOHOO YEAH HEY LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY! HE CAN'T TOUCH ME! I'M WAY TOO FAST, I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL, YEAH!

Fox: This would be so much better if it were Zelda and Samus.

Wolf: Zero Suit Samus right?

Fox: Of course…

Wolf: Wait, it appears that something else is about to happen. Slippy is climbing up onto the corner post. I looks like he' is going for a slam. He's trying to psych up the crowd, look at those scrawny little arms waving around up there.

Fox: Eyuch….where's a French Chef when you need one?

Wolf: And he's launched himself up into the air. And up…and up…and up some more. Wow, his tiny legs are quite powerful, he must be about nine feet up in the air!

Fox: He's reached the peak of his arc and with all that momentum, he's coming down fast!

Wolf: This might actually finish Captain Falcon!

Fox: AND WE HAVE IMPACT!

Wolf: Now that was unexpected. At the last moment, the Captain's leg s gave out under him and he fell to his knees, ending up safely out of the way of his opponent's attack! Slippy's nine foot bellyflop has knocked him out cold!

Fox: But it's become too much for Falcon, he's finally collapsed, landing across Ol' Toadface and pinning him down.

Wolf: Hand makes the count! The Captain Falcon wins!

Fox: But only by a hare's breadth!

Peppy: Hey!

Wolf: Shaddap you Barrel Rolling Cabbage Muncher!

Fox: Well that was an interesting and surprisingly evenly matched fight.

Wolf: I'll say. Shall we go to an ad break?

Fox: Can't think of anything better to do.

Wolf: We'll be right back after these messages folks.

Fox: I'm gonna go taunt a toad….


End file.
